The 20/60/20 Rule
The 20/60/20 Rule is one I not only live by, but also teach my staff, my students, and my own children to focus on as they approach nearly any situation. Think of every person you know. Not all at the same time of course, but imagine 100% of the people you know as a pie chart. Twenty percent of those people you know, love you no matter what you do. They support your ideas, hope the best for you, and would likely drop anything to help you out. Now take about 60% of that ‘people pie’ and think of them as the percent that are pretty much "ok" with you. They’d sit with you at lunch or make sure when you passed in the hallways to say, “Hello” to you. Now, let’s check (however briefly) on the other 20% of the graphic. This 20% of people will NEVER like you, your ideas, your presence, or maybe even your hair. Harsh? Yes. Such is life. You could buy these people coffee for a week, try to greet them in the hallway, or even make a point to connect with them every day and it won’t make a difference. STOP TRYING to find your self-worth in them! BUT, DO NOT STOP showing them respect. Ultimately, it is not you, it is THEM. When you can fully know and understand that not everyone will like you, you can STOP trying so hard to please everyone and START focusing on the 80% of people that DO care about you. This is where we spend that invaluable and limited thing we call TIME. Love yourself (and them) enough know where your focus should go.. 20/60/20. Remember it tomorrow when you’re trying to please everyone ;) Make today amazing!
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Dan and Amy Allen are Educators and Advocates for Students.